Royal Blue Restaurant: a review from a disillusioned customer

I haven’t told you about my favourite restaurant, a nice place, even if it needs a refurbishment or new premises.

The maitre’d is a decent enough fellow, a Glaswegian that tries to keep the place ticking over, the staff try ever so hard, but the service has been slowly deteriorating as the better barmen and waiters move on to bigger and better restaurants and the replacements aren’t always up to scratch.

I could mention the fella from Russia, but he’s not the only one that’s not pulling his weight. The food that is served is of shall we say variable quality, but the maitre’d being a decent fellow tries to get the kitchen to do better.

The Chef that runs the kitchen on the other hand is always trying to pull a rabbit out of his hat, once he even served up some s***e and when I complained he came out and told me it was a mars bar. He has also tried to relocate the restaurant to a cowshed, not that he told us that, and then there was the previous relocation bid to the docks which he failed to deliver on, causing him to fall out with his old business partner.

Now I’ve been served a lot of s***e in this restaurant and have paid £500 a year for the privilege of dining there at least once a fortnight ; except in the summer when it closes, and have paid my dues accordingly even though some years the mars bars have made my breath smell of something awful. This year though the staff tried hard, but I wasn’t buying the excuses anymore and the maitre’d has been unwilling to make his usual excuses for the kitchen anymore because chef wasn’t serving mars bars. Upon realising this I decided not to part with the sum of £500 to eat s**t every fortnight.

I have tried complaining to the chef and owner, but he has removed the feedback forms and locked the door to the kitchen or bunker as we regulars call it now as he hasn’t come out for a very long time. I find this attitude unconscionably considering the many years I have been served shite at this restaurant , and sat in cramped, dilapidated surroundings waiting for you to undertake the promised renovations or move to shiny new premises, instead you lied to us about ring-fenced funding (docks) and world class premises (it was a cowshed).

I will no longer eat in this restaurant because you have served up s***e and failed to move the restaurant twice, and now that we are demanding answers you decide to lock yourself in the kitchen and refuse to speak to us.

I will no longer eat at this establishment while you are still the chef and until I see a new sign outside the Royal Blue restaurant: Under new management.

David O’Keefe